because I’m really wary about what I write, and where I put it. and how it comes across, and how it looks, and how that makes me feel.  if you ever see me being this cautious again, stop me. if you ever seen me reacting like this again, stop me. this is me asking you, and hopefully, this time around, the outcome won’t result in the desire to burn-bridges and forget friendships.

because I need the people around me to help me in controlling what I’ve lost control of.

because I can’t remember how I felt before, and I resent myself for not trying to articulate it better…so that maybe now I’d have something to look back on and work off of.

because there are still spider-webs dangling from the ceiling of a room that was not always my own.

because I always tell myself that I felt bad, and that I cared about how they felt. but I can’t remember if I did, and if I had I suppose I would have felt worse. because I reckon that’s how it is supposed to feel.

what if we lived in a world where feelings were always mutual and understood? not in the sense that for every time a person developed a romantic attraction towards someone it was returned, but in the sense that everyone could FEEL exactly what the other felt when confronted with their emotions? it is probably so easy for people to move along with their lives after hurting another, because they are simply not aware of the pain they have caused : the other persons ~mellow~ demeanor, or a strong front of “I’m okay, it’s fine.” it’s easy to convince yourself that those things are true instead of digging deeper to feel along with them.

perhaps if we were able to feel more, we were hurt less.