my anxiety is still re-manifesting itself while relapsing to its original state, all at the same time. I  want to calm down for a little while, so to better visualize where I need to be. I’ve got all the right ideas, and I’ve had all the experiences. I’m just stuck wanting more exploring and not enough settling. this psychic in NOLA told me I’d end up jumping around the states, and while that is a romantic thought for my travelers soul, I am done with that. no more escaping because of a bad thought and the hunch of a good idea. a psychic that I met with before I moved to England told me that while there, I would find my heart. I didn’t, and I came returned heartbroken. this raises other ideas [of course], that maybe England was a limbo period in my life to direct me to where I am now, but I shouldn’t/won’t think too much into that.  I thought for a long time that I should go back to Italy. I haven’t been back. my irrational and only recently developed fear of flying has made it so the furthest I get out of the country is Canada, and by train. I want to see England again, and I suppose my family - but mostly the roads I used to walk everyday, and the few friends I still would recognize. I have a bunch of projects I’ve been fantasizing about. I want to calm down so I can make them realities instead of just those fantasies.