I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed - they were spreading blankets on the beach

It’s been a battle today, my head vs. my heart. My head & my logic vs. my heart.

I’ve got quite a bit done. Unfortunately, I’ve fallen back into that constant sickly feeling where I can’t eat. Oh well. It won’t last forever, and as if I’d be shriveling away anytime soon.

Put together all the clothes I’ll be giving away before I leave, but that’s just for my clothes… the bag is HUGE. It stopped me from opening my bedroom door on more than one occasion. I need to figure out what I’m going to be selling. Gotta get a bit of spare change.

God, please keep me in control tomorrow. I can’t loose my temper with my boss, even if he’s only going to be my boss for another month. As much as I just want to rip into him - I can’t. I need to be calm. Rational.

These raging hormones are actually becoming as issue. Today, I’ve managed to get a handle on them. Keeping busy really does wonders. Wish I hadn’t been so lazy to do that last month.  Thinking about this this time last month, makes me cringe. It was a proper “New Moon” moment for me. “Moment” doesn’t really suit it — it was more of a “New Moon”  phase. Laying on the ground in the middle of the woods, completely unaware of reality.

It wasn’t just YOU. I wish I could make that more apparent, but I’m not always great at telling the complete truth. I don’t lie, I just leave a lot out. There’s a lot more to this than you, than to what was us. I always focus on things like this — it keeps me away from the core problem.

Petty things are so much easier to deal with than the lingering ones.

Looks like I’m going to fighting these emotional battles with myself for quite some time now.

Can’t wait.

I guess it comes with the territory of being 19.

There was a  study, and apparently, a person is most likely to think suicidal thoughts when they’re 19.

Charming, isn’t it?